And a single tear was wiped away from the collective faces of obsessive internet fanboys everywhere (in case you’re wondering, that tear smells like generic brand Mountain Dew and basement). But they also didn’t name their babies Turkmenistan Daffodil and Uzbekistan Amaryllis (FYI: Michael K’s tears smell like Flaming Hot Cheetos, lube, and the giant novelty jug of vodka from BevMo). No, Elsa Pataky announced on Instagram that she and Thor Hemsworth named their 4-day-old twin boys Tristan and Sasha. No middle names? Quickly nerds! Start an online petition! There’s still a chance we could get Thor and Loki!
So Chris and Elsa’s three kids are named India, Tristan, and Sasha, which means they’re either huge fans of melodramatic CW shows about affluent Malibu teens, porn stars not named Nikki, or unisex haircuts from 1998. Either way, if they ever decided to open a fancy faux-boho clothing store that sells $400 spirit beads to rich bitches to wear at Coachella, they should have no problem registering Tristan & Sasha India as the business name.
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